“Janet Wendell – Ontario”

I was first introduced to Songs For The Inner Child about 4 years ago at a “group” counselling session. The first, in fact the only song I heard that day was How Could Anyone – I had an immediate emotional, gut wrenching, visceral reaction.

I was raised in a home with an angry, scared alcoholic father, a suicidal manic-depressive, insecure and anxious mother and 2 physically and verbally abusive brothers. In an environment of chaos, someone had to be the scapegoat and it was me. I was told repeatedly through words and actions that I was ugly, stupid and useless.

Unfortunately there was no one else in my life to support me – in fact I’ve often said that I was “emotionally” abandoned. Anyway, when I heard How Could Anyone for the first time, my body heaved, I sobbed and the tears ran down my face. That was the beginning of my true healing journey. I now am at a place where I completely love myself – I am (and always was) a kind, loving, caring, sensitive and beautiful person. Thank you for that song.

All the songs on this CD are meaningful but another one that really impacts me is Lullabye.  When I gave birth to my son 29 years ago, I fell into an immediate and severe post-partum depression.  Unfortunately, there were no support groups at that time and doctors weren’t terribly knowledgeable about it.  Imagine my guilt – I had a beautiful, healthy son who slept through the night at 6 weeks of age.  And I couldn’t love him.

One thing I did do though, to compensate, was to nurse him – I’d sit in the rocking chair with him at my breast, listen to Anne Murray singing “You are my sunshine”, and I’d sing along with tears streaming down my face.  He has grown up to be a strong, sensitive, responsible, mature man with a healthy sense of self-esteem.  Every time I talk to him on the phone I say one of two things – I say “I love you” or “you are the best thing that ever happened to me.”  I hope to be a grandmother someday – I will hold and cuddle that child, love he or she fiercely and sing Lullabye as often as I possibly can.

Thank you dear Shaina.

Most warmly,

Janet Wendell
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
(an hour west of Toronto)