“Loss of a Son to Suicide: Harriet Gutter”

Music has always highly influenced my life, but never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the benefits I have received from your beautiful CD, Songs For The Inner Child. I share my story so other grievers may seek healing from your music. I know they will feel similarly blessed to have your songs in their lives.

While in a metaphysical store, the clerk suggested I listen to your CD. I heard your beautiful voice singing, “How could anyone ever tell you, you were anything less than beautiful, how could anyone ever tell you, you were less than whole, how could anyone fail to notice, that your loving is a miracle, how deeply you’re connected to my soul.” After two choruses of this affirmation, I listened to the flute solo, and when your sweet, haunting voice resumed, I sang along with you for the 3rd, 4th, and finally the 5th time. My heart was captured and my mind mesmerized by the beauty of the lyrics and their personal meaning for me. I had only one month prior to this day lost my 23-year old son, Adam Thilem, to suicide.

I listened to a few more songs while reading the lyrics. By the time I heard, “And the only measure of your words and your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you’re gone,” I had paid for my CD and couldn’t leave the store because my eyes were filled with tears. “You can relax now, I am with you,” seemed as if Adam were saying this to me while at the same time I was assuring him of the same feeling. When you whisper during that song, I feel as if the hand of G-d is stroking me and telling me that everything is all right. “Peace Be With You” is a song for all parents, whether or not they are grieving the loss of a child. However, it is especially helpful and important for brokenhearted mourners to believe that their children are finally at peace.

During the next four months, I listened to this CD day and night, both in my car and at home. I played it at my Suicide Survivors and at Compassionate Friends meetings. I believe I gave all members a very special gift in listening to you sing. I cannot thank you enough for your beautiful lyrics and music. They continue to warm and soothe my broken heart as I listen, sing along, and cry. Your CD has greatly helped me through my grief process, and I know it will help others do the same for years to come. Bless you, Shaina.

Adam’s sad mom,
Harriet Gutter