“Mary”

From a Psychiatric Nurse

I attended a seminar in September on Self-Care for the Caregiver: Re-Visioning a Life of Service and was delighted to have the opportunity to meet you in person. To refresh your memory, I introduced myself to you at one of the breaks, as a psychiatric nurse, who uses your CD, Songs For The Inner Child, with some of my patients. I wanted to let you know how powerful your words/song were, especially in dealing with women who had been abused. I usually ask them to try and relax and quietly listen to the message of the song ‘How Could Anyone.” It has a stirring and very healing effect on them, usually accompanied by quiet tears dripping out of the corners of the eyes and change in breathing patterns. The song and the tape or CD is described as ‘beautiful’ and once heard is always requested to be able to listen to it again during hospitalization.

Each time it is listened to I believe the women incorporate the message and become stronger in their self esteem.  It erases negative message from their past that have been replaying over in their minds.  I mentioned that I had shared it with a colleague of mine, a psychiatrist, who then shared it with an outpatient provider.  Once heard it is shared by all.  I have frequently given extra tapes to patients as they are discharged, and always received a huge and thankful hug.

That day of the seminar you generously gave me about twenty of your CD’s to give out to women that I worked with.  I truly want to thank you for your kindness.  You had asked for some follow-up and feedback.  So finally today, I write some comments for you.

Whenever someone in our unit attends a seminar, we give feedback at our staff meeting.  I shared what a relaxing day I had at the seminar, and how reflective it was on the value of being a caregiver and importance of balance and self nurturing.  I shared your song How Could Anyone.  The group was inspired.  Since then, one of my colleagues who is talented enough to play the guitar and share her music with the patients, uses your song in her music group.  First of all she sings them the song, then gives them the words, sings it again, thirdly she has them sing the song with her and lastly she has them sing it to one another.  It is profoundly emotional.

I had one woman who had self mutilated by cutting with a knife.  This women had carved words deep into the skin, on her arms, thighs and legs.  Each of these carvings were of negative, degrading words i.e. “ugly,” “stupid,” “loser,” to recall a few.  I had her listen to your tape, Songs For the Inner Child, and she used it frequently while hospitalized.  It had such a profound affect on her that she shared it with all the other women on the unit.  They would ask for the CD player and say:  “We are all going into the lounge now and listen to “the song” (How Could Anyone).  Each time a new woman was admitted that week, this core group of women would welcome them, and within a short time they would have a small healing group sharing “the song” with them.  I gave each of them your CD upon discharge, so they could continue to have a place of sanctuary whenever they needed it.

I had another woman who wanted to die, she had made up her mind that she just couldn’t go on with her life being so unstable.  She had cowered herself into a corner of the room, and I was able to get her up onto the bed.  I stayed with her until she calmed and felt more in control.  We utilized your CD and it helped to calm her.  She told me how comforting it was to her.  “I never had a mother that would rock me or hold me and tell me that things would be all right,” she said.  “That is what that song gave me, a mother who rocks and holds me.”

Her outpatient counselor stopped in for a visit and the woman asked me to get your CD so that she could share it with her.  That day the patient wasn’t crying, but the outpatient counselor was!

Another one of my coworkers uses your CD for her groups.  She expressed to me that the feedback is always positive.  They always ask, what is the name of that CD?  She had a woman with depression and anxiety in her group and she just welled up with tears.  Basically, if they have expressed how it impacted them, or they just cry, we give them the CD for home usage.  Frequently when we hand it out on the unit, the CD box comes back empty and we know it went home in someone’s suitcase, for continued therapy.

One more comment.  I was fortunate to attend the seminar with my sister who is also a caregiver.  We have one other sister who has been in a grieving process due to the loss of her husband.  I purchased your CD,  You Can Relax Now , and we  shared with her the song, “The Power of Letting Go.”  What a healing moment for us to be all together listening to your message of change!

Oh, and I must tell you your song You Can Relax Now is very helpful in my caregiving as well, for relaxation techniques.

Mary
Psychiatric RN
Wisconsin